Karwa chauth

Karwa chauth - the day when a wife fasts for the entire day for a long life of her husband and eats at night only after seeing the moon and the face of her husband.

I generally wonder why is it that only the wife fasts? Can a husband not fast for the wife's long age? How about both of them fasting for each other on this auspicious day?

We have seen in the movies and television perhaps, but I'm sure there are husbands and wives who think this way. I personally do.

Last year, on this day, my to-be-wife fasted for me and I told her I would fast as well, to which she plainly denied. I however personally maintained the fast and had food at night.

Today, when my estranged wife is not in touch with me since almost 8 long months, I still feel for her and did not have food for the entire day, apart from half a glass of milk at lunch. I had food finally after 8 pm, imagining I had seen the moon and my wife. Thanks to my sister who has been supporting and caring for me like my mother, I had delicious sandwiches!

Gaurav, one of my closest friend and well-wisher, called me and the entire friends group to his home for dinner. I just couldn't go though I wanted to, because the thought of my wife missing kills me.

I have seen my friends from being single to legally married and I tend to be jealous of them, which being the only reason I kind of hate joining them for any get-togethers. (I however end up joining them in most of the cases. They don't let me be alone and I just can't deny for the second or third time.)

I thank God and my friends for always being with me and do wish them happiness forever.
I wish my wife happiness forever, wherever and with whomever she stays.

Happy birthday Sid!

I so wanted to call and wish you, but I couldn't given the ongoing situations. Therefore penned down my thoughts here.

Honestly, I haven't seen someone as mature as you at your age. Your nature, behaviour, right amount of calmness & liveliness, interests, diverse knowledge makes you gem of a person. You're like the son and brother everyone would wish to have.

Though I met you as my brother-in-law, I have never considered you less than my own brother.
I wish you flourish and achieve your dreams.

I'm sorry I couldn't be the family member you wished I would be. I might not be personally with you all but do remember that you all have a special space in my heart and no one can get rid of that from me, whatsoever happens in future.

I would expect you to be as you are and take care of yourself and our family.

I hope things get better with time and I stay a part of the family forever.
I miss my wife and all of you.

P. S.: I see you becoming a great man in future, possibly in the civil services area or a business tycoon. I wish you all the best!

Missing my wife - 9th Oct 2018

Not a day goes by when I don't miss my wife.
I miss her presence every moment.

When leaving the house for office or going anywhere outside, I never forget to get a quick glance of her solo pic and our pics in the portrait.

When going to sleep, I again talk to her via the portrait for a few seconds, without fail.

And when I miss her outside home, I check out her pics in my wallet.

I miss caring for her and she caring for me.
I miss hugging her and her presence around me.
I miss hugging her at night before sleeping and kissing her forehead.

My father had a hip replacement surgery a week back and I can see my mother caring him every moment.
I so wish I had someone who would understand me and care for me by all heart. And I on the other hand would do everything possible to keep her happy.

The unfortunate part is that I can't share this with anyone. My family is quite emotional or maybe I would break down in front of them if I speak my heart out.

It's been 30 years already and I never had a commitment, with the thought that my commitment will only be towards my wife. But life seems to have other plans for me.

I hope someone somewhere is made for me.
I hope no one in the world feels such pain, loneliness and longing for a loved one.
I hope my wife comes back to me sometime, even if in the late future.