Missing you

I miss you daily.

But don't know why, I have been missing you a lot since yesterday. 

Today, being Karwa Chauth, I fasted and had water with a little food after 9 pm.

I might sound crazy, but I really missed you a lot the entire day today and was wishing that you were with me.

I wish you all the happiness and a great life, whomever you're with.

She comes in my dreams...

We got legally separated in May, but I haven't been able to accept the fact in my heart. I still consider her as my life partner and wife.

Last night she and my entire in-laws family were in my dream. I overslept, thinking subconsciously that things would get sorted.

Not denying the fact that I long for her. I would gladly accept her back, if she wholeheartedly accepts me as I'm.

I don't feel like getting remarried or even search for a partner. I rather think that if a partner is expected to come in my life, let her find me.

I'm not sure if can live my life this way, all alone, if no one comes in my life. But I choose to give it my best.

A few years back all we heard around was people getting married. And these days we mostly hear people having kids and setting up their family.

There are situations when I'm involved in marriage discussions of my younger friends or siblings, I happen to feel all the flashback of my courtship and marriage days, secretly wishing she was with me.

I long to hold her hands, sleep in her lap when she caresses my hair and support her in every situation.

Not sure what's ahead for me, but I hope she stays happy.

I still love her with all my heart!

A year since we last met.

It's been a year
The agony is tough to bear

I never bothered who's at fault
Just hoped your thoughts don't come to a halt

Never goes a day when I don't remember you
My feelings I hoped you knew

I wish things were different
And we weren't so indifferent

A corner within me still aches
I don't think I can forget you, whatever it takes

Maybe we parted for better good
I can't even say life isn't fair or we misunderstood

I wish you have a great life ahead and keep smiling
If we ever cross paths, do remember we did have a zing!

First court visit @ Ranchi

"
Ab naa hai toh fir na sahi dilbar
Iss dil ko ye samjha liya humne
"

These were the words that echoed in my mind today when I was at Ranchi for the divorce court visit.

Soon enough our relationship will be legally called off, but in my heart I don't think I will ever forget you. You have been and will stay my partner within me.